Beautiful Endings

Sometimes we are asked how we are, we know we are not fine But I guess it's fine that our default answer is 'fine' I have a theory about the people we assume to be fine. Sometimes they are the ones who are the least fine. There's something about a certain completeness that makes one feel incomplete. Think about it this way, someone who has a big family is seen as complete, but actually, the more people you have in your life, the more room there is for incompleteness If you have one family member, there is only one chance for an incomplete relationship to be formed Only one chance for separation Only one chance for disappointment Only one chance to be broken. But with more members in your family, say 10, You increase the chances by 10. And let's face it, it is highly likely that you will be disappointed by more than 1 of the 10 So in simple words, the more you have, the higher the chances of losing... or winning I've lived in...

Growing up is something we glorify, It agrees with our human resistance to remaining stagnant. We want to move on to the next step. We want to be more, to have more. Our hair, our limbs, our cells are doing it too. Growing, expanding, multiplying. Whatever the case, more is obtained. But lately, I've been feeling some kind of way. I've been asking myself this question: is growing up actually simultaneous to breaking down? When I was younger (about 2 months ago), I liked to say, 'When I grow up, I want to....' and I kept asking myself what I meant and suddenly this was a phrase I questioned. What was growing up? Was it my age? My experiences? My physique? I'm starting to think it's a little more than that. I'm starting to think that maybe it's a breaking. A breaking of the mind, the heart. Sometimes the breaking of yourself. Maybe we don't grow up, we just break down. The 'child' who believed that the world was good, tha...

A lot of people are said to be 'living comfortably' . It's a phrase I throw around very often too. "Oh, they have a nice house, they are 'living comfortably' ," "When I get myself a car, I'll be 'living comfortably' ." But, what really is this comfort? Is it sitting on a soft cushioned chair? Is it lying on the beach, shades on, wine glass in hand, sun rays tickling your skin? Is it? To be honest, I don't know. But what I do know is that with everything you get, there is some price to pay. To get the comfort of a new car, some might have to pay using the quality time they could have spent with their family. They pay the price by missing birthdays, leaving an empty chair at the dinner table and being absent in photo albums. So does complete comfort really exist? Well... Yes and no. Here's how I would break it down. Life gives us choices, and we tend to make those choices based on what's most important....

  Have you ever wondered what is truly meant by “Nothing new under the sun” Are we as humans limited in our thoughts and inventions? Do we merely recycle ideas and claim them as our own? Is our whole existence based on plagiarism we so deeply discourage? A crime that could get us sued for repeating words without acknowledging the “original owner”? Maybe we are all just criminals through our existence. Here’s what I think: The world is an alphabet. Time, experience and existence all fit into this. Our lives and experiences are like words formed from combining letters of that alphabet. And so, essentially, we could say, new words (experiences) are non-existent in existence. We live on different combinations of the same thing in different ways. Does that mean that human inventions and experiences are limited? How big is the alphabet we live on? Do some letters have accents, paving way for variation? Maybe that’s why we experience deja vu... ...

Life is NOT about making plans. I mean, yes, plans are important, but they only form part of the bigger picture. A very small, but significant part. This thought came to me as I was jogging this morning. For the past three years, I've made timetables, I've gone to sleep prepared, but believe me when I say, NOT ONCE did I ever actually get up and jog. Not once. Until this morning. What does this mean? Planning gives you a direction, but if you don't commit and follow through, the plan is as good as nonexistent. People who keep diaries may look organised, but may in fact just be wasting pen and paper if they never fulfill their commitments. Commitment after making 1 plan is worth more than making 10 and committing to none. A 15 minute jog changed my life. It took me 3 years to finally take that jog. Don't be like me. Commit, get up and run! Carry your commitments like they are part of who you are. And trust me, it will spread to all aspects of your l...

I’ve been thinking about life quite a lot lately About giving, receiving. About infinite cycles and the exchange of energy. About what goes around comes around And why Karma exists. Then I remember my Geography teacher telling us that the water system on earth is a closed system This basically means that the amount of water on day 1 of creation is the exact same amount as today So water merely changes state and location. This took me back to when I read ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ and Hazel Grace saying ‘Some infinities are bigger than others’ And so I started thinking of infinity… You see, the universe is made of an infinite amount of energy, and this infinite amount of energy has been infinite since day 1 of creation. This means that all around us is anything and everything we want and can ever dream of It’s just in a different state or form For example, in order to get good grades you need to swap laziness for hard work, and then fuel yourself up with healthy...

I’ve been tired lately, very tired. In fact, I’ve been exhausted. On most days I wish God could give my days an extra hour. Or just slow down time so I can get more done. But I’m alright. I could say I’m overly satisfied. You see, our bodies were not made to rest. They possess deep wells of energy. They were made to work. And work makes you tired. Any work can exhaust you. Yet a special type of work can leave you content in fatigue. Remember when we were younger? When we played all day with friends? When we ran around and jumped up and down? Remember how tired we would be at the end of the day? Ready to even fall asleep in our dinner plates? What a drag eating would be. But remember how happy, satisfied and content we were? We went to sleep excited to do the same tiring thing all over as soon as the sun came up again. I don’t know about you, But I feel that this is a lesson to learn from the inner child. That childhood spirit can help us identify the fatigue t...

Wounds are a sign of a pain you are feeling. But living with scars is a sign of victory. It means you survived the pain It means you bled to health The moment I start to bleed I know it’s a process of healing I’m no biologist but I know that blood is a sign of life, of a beating heart, and a healing process When my body stops bleeding it would mean it has given up on me. I don’t want to focus on the process of life’s stabbing moments but the instant rush of blood to the spot See, I’m not afraid of pain or of blood because I know that deep wounds that do not bleed cannot heal I look forward to bleeding, because bleeding leaves scars And scars are beautiful. A person before getting hurt is a person before getting hurt But a person after getting hurt is a person who has been hurt, has bled, has heeled and now has a scar Life is made of little marks left in and on you These marks are often scars Like tattoos you didn’t choose They are tattoos that...

I’ve been trying to let go of a lot of things To move on from the past. To position myself like the sun And to create the me I want. I know you’ve been there too And sometimes you feel like you’ve failed. It doesn’t make sense how wanting to be better can be so complicated. You’ve found yourself slipping…falling It’s 10 steps forwards and 10 steps backwards Why are you still stuck in the same place? Is it because you haven’t tried hard enough? Or maybe you are just not doing it right? The universe is governed by 1 very fundamental force. It’s called balance. The chaos in the universe is responsible for the peace… Did I lose you there? I’ll say it again… The chaos in the universe is responsible for the peace. But how? How can two completely contrasting things be responsible for one another? …it’s called BALANCE Now Focus. What does this have to do with you letting go and moving on? What does it mean when you are down, ...

‘I’m finding myself’ But what do you mean? When did you get lost? We’ve been screaming since the beginning of time that life is about ‘finding yourself’ Yet no one really explains how. Do we come into this world lost? And if we do search, when will we know when we’ve finally found what we are looking for? See, I believe we come into this world, not empty, but with magnets in our souls. Life therefore is about creating ourselves. Through the choices we make we either approach situations from an angle that attracts or repels I don’t want to find myself I want to intentionally create myself To see that dreams are most beautiful when we actually wake up and live them. I don’t want to wake up wondering what I want I want get up, mind made up. I might not have it all figured out But I know where I want to go So I’ll pick up sticks and stones and start to build my wall. The magnet inside of me is powerful Much more powerful than anything I’ve e...

Don't promise me eternal love, because nothing lasts forever. Don't say you want to be my nothing, because I want you to be my everything. Just love me now as I am in this moment. Because this is the first and last moment I'll ever be me as I am right now. There is no guarantee that tomorrow I'll still be the same. There's nothing to promise. No obligation. Love me right now if you will And I'll be fine Don't worry about tomorrow's love. Today is enough. But everyone wants to be loved forever, don't they? Listen when I say it's an impossibility not worth trying. Do I want you to love me tomorrow? Well, of course! But I don't want you to love me forever. Because today you'd love the me you met yesterday. So today you won't love me at all. Tomorrow you'll love the me you knew yesterday. So tomorrow you won't love me at all. I know I won't be the same tomorrow So if you love me forever today I'm af...

Let's cool down the belief that the world revolving around me is a crime. Infact, allow me to extinguish it..... There's something warm about winters where I come from. The sun never forgets to shine. Even when we say some days are cloudy and others are sunny. In reality, it is always sunny. That got me thinking. Isn't she the epitome of staying true to oneself? I've never heard anyone speak of cooling her down. In fact, when the clouds shut her out, it's nature that suffers. So here's my thinking, the sun will never adjust herself to suit us. We need to adjust ourselves to get what we need from her.  When I tell you that the sun is my inspiration, it may sound strange. But what I mean is, I strive to be myself so much that the whole system adjusts itself to make way for my dreams, my goals, my aspirations. There's something about the sun. She even owns time. We plan our days based on where she is standing. And never, n...

Watching the sunset today made me realise; endings are beginnings and becoming is unbecoming. The end of the day is the beginning of the night. And as the sky becomes dark, it unbecomes light. I cannot separate day and night as if it happened in an instant. Because by doing so, I miss the beautiful process of the flaming colours in the sky. And so I realised that the reason why we count every second is because every second counts. Between 12 noon and 1pm, there are 60 minutes, within 60 minutes are 3 600 seconds and within 3 600 seconds are 3 600 000 000 microseconds. The same applies to life. Between all events are little events inside smaller events. And each of them come together to form the bigger picture. I know you understand processes. Maybe you've looked at them as little events leading to bigger ones. Maybe not. But whatever the case, as I begin my blogging journey, I want you to appreciate the process. Something is ending right now. An ending of over 2 decades has l...